Thank you to President Marcus-Newhall, Trustees, faculty, and distinguished guests. First and foremost, I鈥檇 like to add my voice to the chorus of congratulations to the Class of 2023! It is a tremendous honor to be here with such an impressive group of graduates. Congratulations as well to the families, biological and chosen, that have been your nurturers and supporters up to this day.
Class of 2023, what you have accomplished here is no small feat. Not only have you done the massive amount of work required to earn your degrees鈥� you鈥檝e read all the books, completed all the papers, presentations, midterms and final exams鈥攂ut you did it while surviving a global pandemic. And as if that weren鈥檛 enough, first, you did it remotely, and then, you came back to campus and you did it all while rebuilding the clubs, the culture, the community of this special place.
Under circumstances that would challenge the best of us, you remained committed to your studies, and you refined the priceless power of critical thinking that will be the engine behind all you pursue and create in life. While the world around us is fractured by relentless cultural, economic, and political turmoil, in contrast, you have earned a reputation for knowing who you are, and what you want, and supporting one another in pursuit of those goals. You are so inspiring, and the world needs your particular skills, and your humanity more than ever.
What wisdom should I offer young people who have already transcended such epic challenges? I鈥檓 supposed to tell you some things that will help you navigate this life. So I鈥檓 going to borrow from the ancients:
The only constant in life is change. So said Heraclitus. (Where my philosophy majors at?)
So here you are, facing yet another monumental life change. And yeah, I know: it鈥檚 a lot. It鈥檚 all the things! It is, first, a celebration! It鈥檚 a moment to reflect on all that you鈥檝e accomplished, think of all the oranges you鈥檝e picked, and it鈥檚 a moment to look forward into the vastness of your future. I, myself, am an alumna of a women鈥檚 liberal arts college. I remember so viscerally the feelings in my body in the weeks before graduation. I remember the relief of finishing my thesis! The excitement of all the events. But mostly, I remember the terror. I was a person who excelled, even, thrived, in structured spaces like school. What on earth, I wondered, was I supposed to do with myself out there in these non-academic streets?! Where was the course catalog of life? Who was the dean of work-life balance, and what were her office hours? And lord, was there a financial aid application?? I was truly bugging. A friend, who witnessed me actually quaking in anxiety, looked at me in bewilderment, and he said, 鈥淜elly. It鈥檚 going to be ok.鈥�
How did he know that? He didn鈥檛. I think he was simply at peace with the notion that there is no stopping change. It will come whether you feel prepared for it or not, and you must learn to embrace it with open arms. The change before me in that moment was that it was time to truly step forward off campus and into my purpose. Although I had majored in history, I had long known that my purpose in life was to create characters and stories to enlighten and entertain, in collaboration with other artists.
So that was it. If I moved boldly in pursuit of my purpose, I could face life鈥檚 changes bravely. Easy! I have, since then, faced many seasons of change in my life. Going from one gig to the next, playing a 12-year-old parasaurolophus dinosaur in a tiny theater in Philadelphia one day and performing on Broadway the next, from New York to Los Angeles, from single to married, being childless to becoming a mother. I am in a place of career transition at this very moment, having hung up my scrubs, and although it鈥檚 taken some practice, I am able to employ some principles I鈥檝e adopted over the years to be able to embrace the change before me.
As someone who鈥檚 a hair older than you鈥攁lthough my manager assures me I can still play late 20鈥檚, in a pinch鈥擨 have a few essential tools to offer you. In elementary school, you learn the 3 R鈥檚 as Reading, Writing, and 鈥橰ithmetic. The three new R鈥檚 I鈥檇 like to share are Risk, Reflection, and Reinvention.
Risk: Whether or not you鈥檙e an indecisive Libra like me, chances are at some point you鈥檒l find yourself weighing the pros and cons of two or more scenarios, trying to determine which one will lead to success, and which one will lead to total life derailment. I鈥檓 here to tell you鈥攁ny choice you make is the right one. Because there on the other side of that choice, whether the outcome is disastrous or triumphant, is the very thing that you needed to teach you what you needed to know next in this life.
That鈥檚 true even when 鈥渇ailure鈥� sneaks up on you鈥攚hen you think you鈥檙e doing everything right鈥� but then everything goes left. Chances are that your first book will be terrible, your first year as an entrepreneur will be a rollercoaster, you may find that that grad program is not how you want to spend the next three years of your life. Some would say that 鈥渇ailure鈥� is not a dirty word. But actually, I would go so far as to argue鈥� that there鈥檚 no such thing as failure. There are disappointing and undesirable outcomes, for sure. But how can any investment of time and passion that you put into something you鈥檝e thought about, activated, and saw through to completion really all be wrapped up in that one word, 鈥渇ailure?” Only through commitment to anything are you able to learn and grow, and most importantly, be able to be seen fully.
Because it is not in outcomes that our character is forged, but in process. If there is such a thing as failure, I would say that it is this: When you have ignored that yearning voice in your gut so long that she has been rendered silent. When the door to true connection through vulnerability has closed. When you say, I don鈥檛 need to write that book, I don鈥檛 need to dance that dance. And even in those scenarios, there鈥檚 a lesson to be learned.
So take the risk. Bet on yourself. Life is so much more fun when you try. Have a sense of adventure and get out of your comfort zone as often as you can. Taking risks enables you to discover your purpose. And that is how you use risk as a tool for embracing change.
Reflection. Make it a habit to every now and then, stop and take stock. Don鈥檛 let life fly by in a flurry of 鈥淚 gotta do, gotta go, gotta say, gotta POST.鈥� In private moments, on spiritual and emotional breaks (lord knows we need 鈥榚m), take the time to hit the reset button and reflect: How am I doing? Am I happy? Are my actions in alignment with who I say I am? Are there people around me with whom I can have difficult conversations lovingly? Are my metrics for success in life based on my values鈥� or that influencer鈥檚? When was the last time I challenged myself? What is the thing that only I have that the world needs? We are constantly reaping what we sow in this life, so what seeds are you planting?
The answers to questions like these keep you rooted in your purpose. And that鈥檚 why reflection is a tool for embracing change. So take a breath. Look back at how far you鈥檝e come. Think of the you that walked through that entryway as a freshman, and how different you are now.
Reinvention. You鈥檝e risked, you鈥檝e reflected鈥� now it鈥檚 time to begin the work of developing new habits, throwing out the old and unhelpful, and ushering in the new and generative.
And now you鈥檙e a little bit different than before. I鈥檒l give you an example from my own experience. Once upon a time, I quit acting. My approach to the career wasn鈥檛 working, I was unhappy, and frankly, I wasn鈥檛 doing good work. I had given it my best shot, but maybe it wasn鈥檛 the thing for me after all. So I moved to Spain, a country where I knew no one, and didn鈥檛 speak the language, to work on a farm, which I knew nothing about. I rolled the dice and took the risk of leaving, spent a lot of time with my hands in the dirt reflecting, and when I came back to the states, I did return to acting. But I returned with the understanding that I mustn鈥檛 conflate my value as a human being, as an artist, with my commercial value to a fickle entertainment industry. It was a small, but transformative new thought habit. Here I was, back to my old city and in my job, but elementally a different version of myself. Stepping back into my world in this new skin was uncomfortable at first. But uncovering a new perspective was what I needed to get out of the rut I was stuck in and be able to move forward.
And that鈥檚 why reinvention is a tool for embracing change. And, bonus!! It brings you right back around to that first tool again. Taking risks. So it鈥檚 useful to think of risk, reflection, and reinvention as a cycle, a process, a form: the lather, rinse, repeat of life. As foundational building blocks: the reading, 鈥榬iting, and 鈥榬ithmetic of adulting.
`Why, oh why, have I been harping on this change thing so much? Well, I began with the ancients, I鈥檒l sum up with someone a bit more contemporary. The great novelist Octavia Butler, who lived her too-short life only a little way from here, put it this way. 鈥淭he only lasting truth is change.鈥� At your lowest and at your highest, remember this: nothing is permanent. When power structures seem impenetrable you mustn鈥檛 lose sight of your purpose and your power to change. When your civil rights are at stake and democracy is on the brink, you mustn鈥檛 lose sight of your purpose and your power to change. Go forth with curiosity to find your purpose, the audacity to live it, and courage to embrace change at every step of the journey. I hope you find truth, joy, fulfillment, and genuine, human connection along the way.
Good luck, and congratulations!